A light switch

Comments On Comments IV: A Sense of Community

It wouldn’t be a CoC post if I didn’t remind you of the sheer volume of these fucking things I sift through just for 15 views a post. I don’t know who the fifteen of you are, but God bless you and your browser history.

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That’s 425 comments worth of free-range misogyny, rage, and size-lies, and that’s only for a single video. With that in mind, this week we’ll be taking a look at the populace of this digital swamp and how its inhabitants interact. It’s a savage place not unlike a chimp colony, where the inhabitants speak in grunts similar to English while constantly drawing attention to their penis.  Some are surprising, some are hilarious, and all of them have placed a heavy burden on my soul.

Screencap from a pornography websiteIf someone asked me to give them a description of my FB newsfeed at any given moment, this would be it.

Screencap from a pornography websiteThis post, on the other hand, is an accurate description of every Youtube comment thread ever. Go ahead and check. I’ll wait.

Screencap from a pornography website  I don’t know which social media websites you have to be banned from to stoop to trolling on Pornhub, but I’d imagine this Topest fellow has a pretty extensive knowledge of them.

Screencap from a pornography websiteNow that opinions are facts, your opinion can be objectively wrong. What a time to be alive.

Screencap from a pornography websiteThat’s why I come to Pornhub comments, a sense of community greater than any fraternal organization.

Screencap from a pornography websiteA common ancestor? You mean like a monkey?

Screencap from a pornography websiteWomen love a man who takes charge. Women love a man who’s not afraid to pop the big question. Smithy5511 is both.

Screencap from a pornography websiteI’m happy for you, Hairy Dicksore.

Screencap from a pornography websiteAnd just like the Justice League, countless people beat off to them in the private darkness of their own room.

Screencap from a pornography websitePut me in, Coach!

Screencap from a pornography websiteI don’t think this person knows how far apart those two places are.

Screencap from a pornography websiteI don’t know why a woman would search anywhere else for their dream man. Mr. Right is waiting patiently for you just above the related videos section.

Screencap from a pornography websiteNow how could a lady possibly say no to an offer like that?

Screencap from a pornography websiteI like this guy. Whereas other serial killers comment under the guise of wanting to engage in sexual congress, this gentleman just lets you know out in the open that he’s tryna wear your skin.

Screencap from a pornography websiteAny comment that can make me laugh automatically finds itself in my CoC folder. Welcome, Stevo.

Screencap from a pornography websiteEvery time I scroll past this picture I laugh out loud.

Screencap from a pornography websiteI understand you’re making a joke, but with this modern trend of giving your children shitty “unique” names, it very well might be.

Screencap from a pornography websiteShe cries a lot?

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Son: Dad, how did you meet mom?

(Dad looks to Mom, they exchange loving and sentimental eye contact)

Dad: Well, son, Daddy was on his favorite website one night…

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Son: Mom, how did you meet Dad…?

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Son: Mom, how did you meet Mom?

Mom: com here.. wil tel storie

Screencap from a pornography websiteProbably not. But you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Don’t be afraid to spread your wings.

Screencap from a pornography websiteSee! Ask a question get an answer!

Screencap from a pornography websiteI don’t know, dawg. Have you seen sneezing panda?

Screencap from a pornography websiteI don’t know, dawg. Have you tried garlic bread?

Screencap from a pornography websiteThat’s a long… oh wait… HotFudgeFunday has this dad joke covered for me.

Screencap from a pornography websiteThis is a great hashtag for work emails and church groups. Very Professional. I recommend.

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