A lock and key

CoC VII: PR and Ad

When we browse the fetid sewer of wonders that is the internet, it’s all too easy to look at ads as browser herpes and forget the fact that they are how most of the internet gets paid. But for those of us who don’t use adblocking software and then complain when our favorite online media folds, ads are a part of life. How about the ads in the sewer of the sewer, though, the ads on pornography websites? Well if you want to know what some of those look like, scroll no further.

I know you’re excited, let’s look into the exciting world of earning clicks from movies of dicks.

A screencap from a pornography websiteLooks legit.

A screencap from a pornography websiteI haven’t heard of this game. I’m sure this sequel is just as good as its predecessor.

A screencap from a pornography websiteFinding a typo in an advertisement will give any Grammar Nazi an erection larger than the Reichstag.

A screencap from a pornography websiteThere’s no way to sugar coat this, this is a man ruining a perfectly good summer squash with his weird dong.

A screencap from a pornography websiteHow humping a salad bar will make your junk grow has never been explaint.

A screencap from a pornography websiteI don’t know what kind of fruit is pictured here, but you can bet your bottom dollar there’s a dick in it.

A screencap from a pornography websiteAt no point in her life has this woman’s corporeal form ever consisted of enough semen.

A screencap from a pornography websiteI somewhat doubt this man is receiving a blowjob from a large southeast Asian fingernail,  but then I don’t know what the kids are into these days.

A screencap from a pornography websiteConfusion, large amount of.

So maybe I’m being a little harsh on some of these, they’re probably by people who learned English as a second language. For fairness let’s get into some videos made by Americans for Americans.

A screencap from a pornography websiteThe fuck does this even say? It’s like this guy just discovered the Google Adwords tool and went nuts.

A screencap from a pornography website

Producer: Hey, what do you want me to name your new video?

Guy: Just fuck my shit up, fam.

A screencap from a pornography websiteI don’t know what a ‘nacho teen addiction’ is, but you can count me in!

A screencap from a pornography websiteGod Almighty, can anybody on this website use our language properly?

A screencap from a pornography websiteNot like that, man. I’m sad now.

I’ve gotten a little sidetracked, guys. I’ve forgotten that the internet can be an excellent many-to-many platform for advancing business interests. You can exchange lots of goods and services, like…

A screencap from a pornography websiteIn today’s job market this isn’t even the worst job listing I’ve seen.

A screencap from a pornography websiteThat’s not how genetics works, but I respect the hustle.

A screencap from a pornography websiteWhen building a brand, use every opportunity at your disposal to promote your fledgling blog or business. Make sure to leave no links of any kind.

A screencap from a pornography websiteYou can also use the internet to promote your intense views regarding Religion. Your message will be stronger if your links don’t work.

A screencap from a pornography websiteTake that, believers!

A screencap from a pornography websiteWhat a great place to share your perfectly legitimate videos of Scar Jo.

A screencap from a pornography websiteOr Selena Gomez.

A screencap from a pornography websiteThis is where I go to watch three minute segments of 2014’s ‘Wild’ starring Reese Witherspoon.

A screencap from a pornography websitePornhub is the premier place to assemble to your legion of shapeshifting lizards.

A screencap from a pornography websiteAnd never forget that the internet is a place for making friends, who are most definitely humans and not pornographic spambots.

Just like you’re all my friends and most definitely not pornographic spambots.

Hugs, Riq!

 

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One thought on “CoC VII: PR and Ad

  1. Pornhub comments remind slightly of /b/ in like 2014 before it was finally and decisively overrun with so much trap porn that it became utterly worthless and unbrowseable

    Like

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